Good Riddance, 2020. Use These 5 Simple Questions to Create an Inspiring 2021.
Here we are folks. We made it to 2021.
In this episode, I’m going to walk you through creating an inspiring & joy-giving vision for 2021, and I’m not talking about a New Year’s Resolution because - at least for me - those usually aren’t inspiring and joy-giving. They’re usually goals that feel like a “should” (like lose 15 lbs or whatever) and then I miss a day and feel wrong about it and then give up. No, thank you.
I’m talking about a setting a vision: an intention that’s broader and truly inspiring, and gives you joy and energy.
A couple weeks ago, I was talking with one of my clients. He’s bright and hard-working, well-liked and respected by everyone (boss, peers, team members). He always shows up for our calls ready to rock, and is so down-to-earth with all the many things happening now… just one of these super-on-top everything, but also so aware of the things he’s not quite managing well at the moment. Anyway, we were talking about wrapping up 2020, moving into 2021, and he asked me what he could do with his team in January to “pump them up for 2021.”
Normally, I have a have a clear answer for this which is usually a mix of getting the team together, talking about your wins from the past year and things you’re grateful for (which can include lessons learned that probably weren’t fun but ultimately make you better), and then some sort of a collaborative process to create the vision and goals for the new year. But this year, that process felt icky; it felt kind of forced, like trying to make something positive that wasn’t, and everyone knows it – so we came up with an interim step (which I’ll tell you about in a sec) before getting to the wins.
As I thought about it more, and setting a vision for my own 2021… I could care less about it which is So Unlike me. I’m usually jazzed about creating the next year… I start thinking about it way before now, making mental notes and literal notes, reaching out to people and lining up resources, etc. In fact, one of my friends at work used to make fun of me because every year, right after Thanksgiving, I’d start saying “I can’t wait for this year to be over. Next year, we’re going to….” He finally said to me, “You know Dec 31 is arbitrary, right? You can turn the page and start doing new things any date of the year.” True. But I don’t know, I’ve always loved the magic of starting fresh on January 1. This year though, I’m indifferent. It’s odd. Maybe because the first half of 2021 doesn’t seem like it will be all that much different, you know?
So I thought I’d go through this process of creating a vision for the new year, and you can join me… you can just follow along if it helps to hear someone else’s 2020 which I’m sure will have some aspects similar to your own. And you can go through this process with me if you like.
Here’s my intention: I’m intending to go from Tired of 2020 & Indifferent about 2021 to feeling pretty great about 2020 and actually Excited about 2021.
Let’s see… Ready? Ok – here we go.
First step, when vision-setting after a particularly difficult time, is to be real about what it’s been like.
This is what my client and I realized was needed. Especially after a tough year, it can be difficult to just jump into counting your wins. And the mind – unfortunately – naturally bends towards the negative anyway, so it’s good to get out any of that weight before creating the future.
It’s like the old saying that you can’t pour tea into a full cup. We have to get the tea level down – or completely emptied – so we can fill it up fresh.
Part 1: When you think about your 2020, what comes to mind?
For me, it was effing hard. When I finally pause for more than second to think about it, I feel like I’ve been holding my breath since March. …and listen, I know that my 2020 is a first-world-problem 2020, so I’m always hesitant to talk about because it’s like “Really, THIS was hard for you?” But I also know that it’s not healthy to just keep it stuffed inside. Which again, is WHY this is the first part of creating a vision for 2021.
2020: In addition to figuring out how to stay healthy & keep my family healthy (physically and mentally) - but not live a hermit-life…
- The first 6 months of this pandemic were particularly financially difficult. My husband and I are both entrepreneurs, and when the economy gets hit hard, consultants are the first to go (that’s me), and my husband is a lawyer and the courts shut down for about 4 months.
- My middle child (14 y/o) came out as queer, and if you’ve never gone through this yourself or been close to a friend of family member as they go through this, I can say now that there’s a whole world of what it takes to come out and feel wholly accepted and loved. This same kid – a few months ago – asked us to use the pronouns of they/them/their, and changed their name from Laney to Lane, or maybe NoahLane or maybe Noah. My biggest adjustment so far has been the pronouns. Shifting from she/her to they/them/there is WAY harder than it seems, but thank God they talk to me a lot so we’ve been able to provide all the love and support that’s needed. If you’ve been there yourself, or as a family member or friend, you know, there are aspects of this that be scary as hell. …And For The Record, I really don’t care if my child is gay or straight, non-binary or transgender. I care that my kid is here, healthy, happy and expressed, kind, and knows they are loved.
- Also this year, my oldest started her junior year of high school. We’re in a great school district, which can be pretty competitive, and she wants to go to college so we’re starting that process. Oh my God, it’s very different than when my husband and I went through this… definitely more pressurizing. She’s a headstrong young woman; she’s driving this whole process with us - what she needs, when the SATs are, getting us to proofread her papers and be her practice audience for debates, etc. We’re doing it all of course… it’s really quite something being with her in this pivotal time in her life.
- Our youngest is in 3rd grade. She’s a very observant and intuitive girl and – I’m learning – is more sensitive than she seems. While it seems she’s adapted very well to everything this year, there are times when I see how it’s all impacting her. For example, she used to love going to school. Now, she goes to school 2 days a week and just wants to stay home. I worry about how she – and we all – will socially adjust after this. And, you know, she’s 9 so she’s also starting to get a little sassy – par for the course in my experience of raising girls – but it means that I’m beginning that parental tight-rope of when to encourage her independence and expression and when to put up the guard rails.
I just realized that’s a lot of family stuff, but it makes sense for 2020. Family was more front and center than ever.
There’s more I could say but so you don’t have to listen to me go on, I’ll finish my accounting of 2020 on my own.
But I’ll tell you, even just that little bit of a reflection on what 2020 was like - a little emptying of the cup - gave me some breathing space. I’m still not quite ready to create an inspiring, joy-giving vision for 2021 – which is why we have Part 2.
Part 2: When you’re vision-setting, you can get more creative – and more visionary – when you’re in a context of abundance… and we can tap into abundance by thinking about the great stuff that’s happened. To tap into the experience of abundance:
What are you proud of? What are you grateful for?
For me, I’m proud of:
- my family for rallying together this year, growing more kind and more compassionate with each other.
- my expanded patience.
- the work I’ve done for and with my clients.
- launching this podcast (totally out of my comfort zone) and developing the online version of my women’s leadership online course, Coming Into Your Own.
And I’m grateful for:
- my family’s health, including my parents and my in-laws – who all live close by.
- the work that my husband and I had in the 2nd half of this year.
- my clients and that I get to work with some of The Best humans on the planet.
- the home renovation we’re doing (after years of saving and planning, we were miraculously still able to do it)… along those lines - I’m grateful that for my mom who let us use her home, and our neighbors who are away for a couple weeks and who’s kitchen we used to bake some Christmas cookies.
- our doctors and therapists who have helped us through the year.
At this point, after getting real about the year – the challenging stuff and really good stuff, I feel like I have a lot of breathing space to create, and imagine what the future could be. If you’re doing this along with me, hopefully you do feel the same.
Part 3 of this process is to create your vision for 2021.
When I work with executive teams to create their strategic vision, I ask about half a dozen questions that include their market and customers, innovations, etc. But for your 2021, it’s simpler: just 2 questions to get you creating.
Picture your life a year from now – including work, family, health, finances, home:
- What do you envision for yourself?
- What would be fun?
And as I think about it, as I write this on Christmas Eve Eve, I don’t have answers which I think is a good thing. I’ve definitely moved out of my 2020 Tired & 2021 Indifferent mode. I hope you’ve moved out of some of your 2020 as well. After thinking about accomplishments and gratitudes, I’m actually getting psyched for what 2021 could be.
So… mission accomplished. I emptied the cup of tea, feel refreshed, and can now let those 2 questions tinker around in my head a while: What do you envision for 2021? What would be really fun?
On that note, Cheers to putting the past behind us… well, keeping what was great and leaving the rest. And Cheers to 2021.
