Restoring Your Energy In Stressful Times
The past couple weeks have been nuts. I work from home; I’m the mom to three girls and the days leading up to back-to-school were like none other. Even with the first day of school behind us, I still feel like I’m running a long sprint. My daughters are 14, 12 and 6 so I’m familiar with this time of year: the 4-5 weeks surrounding that first day of school.
In my house, it began when the end of Summer was in sight. Each of my girls started getting nervous and made comments about dreading the new year. Their moods and needs flipped into another dimension. To each her own version, but my two older girls binged Netflix, crammed their last-minute summer reading, played way too many videogames and slept in until noon. My youngest was extra clingy and demanded constant attention. All three increasingly tattled on each other and talked back to me.
Then of course, there was the eye-rolling and yelling… but that was mostly me. I usually take their shenanigans in stride and have compassion for what they’re going through but when a lot is happening and there’s no familiar routine and stress levels are high, it’s practically impossible to roll with things like I normally do.
All of this reminded me of the many years I worked in a consulting company and the stress of the year-end press. It felt like a long sprint – like multiple 800’s back to back. There was a lot happening, much faster than normal, bigger numbers to hit and a full-on pressure to deliver.
I don’t mean to complain about times when the heat is on. I actually love so much about that kind of press. It can be thrilling – there’s a mission to win and it’s Game On. Everyone steps up and pulls together and sh*t gets done. Issues and problems get resolved quickly and there’s no time for the usual petty crap. I love how a totally intense time can also be a breath of fresh air and it’s a great mood-lifter when winning is in sight.
Stressful times can be exciting and they can be frustrating. We can be on our A-Game in one moment and lose our cool the next.
The best strategy to consistently bring our A-Game is to care for our own energy levels. High-intensity times, even when they feel more exciting than stressful, can zap our energy. We need to refuel. I used to think I’d recover in a big way after it was over. Some people are great at that. It never really worked for me. I’ve found that refueling in the middle of the intensity is the best way to feel great and to keep doing great stuff.
Here’s what helps to feel great and be awesome in times of high stress:
- Know your indicators of when your stress levels are too high. For example, let’s say you’re normally pretty chill but then suddenly impatient and snippy with people, or maybe you’re reliably punctual but find yourself running late or missing meetings, or maybe you typically have a positive outlook but it seems like the world is imploding. Knowing your personal indicators for when the intensity is too much is key because, well, knowing is half the battle (thanks, GI Joe).
- Give yourself some grace for being human, and account for your mistakes. Say “I’m sorry” when you need to and forgive yourself when you mess up. No one escapes these high-stress times without a few scrapes of humanity. Hiding from your mistakes and hoping no one notices will only diminish your confidence and hinder your ability to be awesome.
- Know what restores you. Be honest with yourself about this. Different things will restore you at different times of life. Sometimes it’s lying on the couch and binging your favorite show. Sometimes it’s getting sleep. Sometimes it’s catching a concert and dancing your butt off or going to a game and cheering on your team. Sometimes it’s a vacation – or a weekend getaway – or a hike – or playing ultimate frisbee – or going for a drive and turning up the music – or just turning off the phone. Learn what restores your mind, body and soul, and do that.
- Plan for what you need to sustain your full energy. When you see one of these high-stress long-sprints coming your way, plan to refuel along the way.
- Be realistic. Until recently, I’d push myself 100% day in and day out, eventually running on fumes, fantasizing about lots of sleep and spa treatments when it was over. That’s a lovely thought but it’s completely unrealistic. More importantly, it prevented me from doing little things along the way to restore my energy. Little breaks to refuel can be easy and require hardly any time at all, like these: go to bed a little earlier one night, ditch the family cooking and order prepared foods, take a bubble bath, put your feet up, go on a longer run, leave the office on time, have a slow cup of coffee.
- Be deliberate. Block time in your calendar and treat it like you would a meeting with your biggest client. Honor it. (aka – Don’t f*ck with it.)
When you’re near the finish line and you know things will soon return to a normal pace, start thinking about what’s next. I’m not just talking about what’s already in your calendar or what people tell you is coming. The end of this kind of intensity is the perfect time to pause and think about your future… immediate or long-term. Ask yourself: “what would be fun and exciting?” and as you start to imagine that, know that creating your future is yet another way to restore your energy.
