The Big Deal About Small Wins

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This week’s episode is about celebrating the small wins and why this is such a big deal to do.

I recently worked with someone who hired me to as a coach to help her make progress with a myriad of priorities in work and in life. There were so many priorities that it was overwhelming. Some things were getting done while others were at a stand-still. Add in the background of the pandemic, which is its own kind of overwhelm that so many of us are experiencing. For all the long hours she was working, she was missing out on the satisfaction of getting stuff done. We focused on clearly defining goals that were
motivating & achievable; we set goals in each priority area, do-able actions, and started noting the wins and progress.

In our first call, I talked about how important the little wins are and by the 3 rd call she kind of rolled her eyes and said, “I know you’re going to ask me about the little wins,” but then this great thing happened: she started rattling off a handful of little wins and she realized she is actually making real progress with these priorities. Her mood shifted from making it through the day to being happy, satisfied, proud, and motivated.

It goes like this for most of us. We work towards our goals and while we might know we’re making progress, we often don’t feel like we are.

Occasionally, someone will tell me they’re frustrated with how negative they feel; they question why they can’t be more positive about things? But from my perspective, it’s totally normal to be slanted towards the negative. This is how the mind works. It’s how the world works. The media feeds off it.

Psychologists call this the Negativity Bias: our brains are evolutionarily hard-wired to focus on negative things. This is fascinating to me… our brains are this way because this is what helped us survive thousands of years ago. It’s just that we don’t live that way anymore, but our brains haven’t evolved fast enough to understand this.

We still unintentionally focus on the negative which has us be acutely aware of mistakes we make, or what needs to get done that we haven’t done and we’ll get in trouble if we don’t get done in time – or there will be some sort of other negative ramification if we don’t get it done... which makes us worry more, can make us anxious or feel negatively pressured… and we don’t celebrate much at all. I mean, when we’re in that mode (which can be a lot of the time), who has time for celebration?

…Except that we take actions from our feelings. When we’re working toward our goals, and we’re worried about not making mistakes and avoiding failure, we’re producing a lot but we’re not present to the progress we’re making. We get tired and frustrated faster which hinders our productivity.

Contrast that to working towards the same goals, balancing out the Negativity Bias with frequently noticing wins and progress so we feel like we’ve got some wind at our backs to keep it going. We get motivated and fuel our productivity.

As a leader, you’re leading people to do great things. Asking people to talk about the progress they’re making can sometimes feel a little counter-intuitive, like if you focus on that, they’ll take their foot of the gas, think things are better than they are, think they’re closer to their goals than they actually are, and not work as hard. But that can’t really happen because the negativity bias is too strong. By asking people to talk about their wins – even the little ones count a big deal here – you are balancing out the
negativity bias and infusing positive energy, confidence and motivation to do great things.

I recommend at least a weekly cadence of acknowledging progress and wins.

But if you do this with your team, it’s important that you let them say what their wins are because the act of having to say what your wins are will refocus the brain and give an infusion of positive, forward-focused energy.

Of course, you should also tell them what they’re doing well. Positive feedback goes a long way.

You need both: your people need to refocus their brains to see and feel good about the progress they’re making, and they need to hear you say what they’re doing well.

What about if you’re leading yourself, or if you don’t have a leader who pats you on the back, and you’re not so great at acknowledging and celebrating your small wins?

I recommend a weekly journal for your wins and getting present to your wins as you write them. (In other words, don’t just rush through as another to-do or half-hearted exercise.)

I also recommend small, daily rewards for micro-progress: like treating yourself to a favorite cup of coffee or watching a show or event, or going for a walk and listening to music (instead of being on a conference call when you take your walk). Do something that is like patting yourself on the back.

When we acknowledge our wins, we interrupt the negativity bias and in the brain science of it, we interrupt cortisol (stress hormone). Instead, we release oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins which makes us feel a greater sense of connection, comfort, focus, and security – and can fuel us to keep doing great things.

To wrap it up, there’s sound logic, psychology and brain science that tells us it’s important to frequently experience all the progress you are making. It’s actually a big deal to celebrate the little wins.